Career Coaching Insights: 5 Questions to Help Determine Your Ideal Career

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

The difference between a job and a career

While a job is something that one does solely for the money involved, a career involves a chosen occupation which often has room for progression in that specific field. Delivering pizzas for extra pocket money would be an example of a job, while teaching or medicine are possible career paths. If you work a typical 40-hours per week, that is 2,080 hours each year that you are spending at work, and a career often spans decades of a person’s life. Decades. That is a lot of hours devoted to one’s career and why it is so important to make sure you are doing what you love. The goal should be that you wake up excited by what you get to do each day—that you are thriving, not just surviving. While it’s never too late to figure out what you want to be when you grow up, the sooner you’re able to identify your ideal career, the more time you’ll have being happy and energized at work.

Here are 5 mindful questions to help determine your ideal career:

#1: What are your values?

In general, people are happiest when what they do in life matches their values. Examples of values can be things such as family, relationships, health, nature, travel, honesty, financial freedom, spirituality, success, and knowledge. There are many other values as well, but the key is that your day is spent in line with at least some of your core values. For instance, if two of your core values were social justice and equality, you would likely be miserable in a job on Wall Street, but might thrive in a non-profit setting.

There’s no right or wrong regarding values; just be honest in what yours are. If you aren’t sure what your top values are, the fastest way to figure it out is to ask yourself this question: where do you spend your 1) free time and your 2) money? People with family as their top value tend to spend their time and money on family activities, or someone who values the outdoors might go hiking or biking every weekend. List your values and then determine if your current career lines up with any of your top ones.

#2: When are you in the flow where you lose track of time?

The goal of mindfulness is to live as much as possible in the present moment, which is where all of the good stuff in life happens. When you are so absorbed in something that you lose track of time, you are fully immersed in the present. For many people, this state of flow occurs when they are involved in a favorite hobby. The definition of a hobby is: an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. It’s something done due to the love of doing it, rather than for a secondary gain such as money. Some potential responses could be: when you’re gardening, taking photos, building model cars, skiing, rock climbing, jewelry-making, writing, woodworking, or playing with your children. You get the idea. When answering this question, you will probably come up with more than one answer, which is great so think of all incidents where you lose track of time.

A fun extension of this question is: as a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? No matter how far-fetched the answer might be, it often highlights what excited you as a child, and we often lose touch with that inner child as we grow. When you identify when you are most in the flow, keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that your answer means you should make that hobby a career. Some people worry that making something they love into a job will cause them to lose their passion for it, whereas others would be thrilled to get to do their hobby full-time. The key is just to tap into those things that excite you, because you can use that passion to determine what is missing from your current career.

#3: What skills do you have that are unique?

Everyone has a combination of strengths, personality traits, and life experiences that make them unique. When you identify the things that make you stand out, you can better explore how to use those strengths. This could be having an amazing aptitude with numbers, whipping up an amazing meal without a recipe, or being someone who easily makes new friends.

If this question is hard for you, think about the last time you received a compliment. Has someone told you that you’re great at solving puzzles, a great cook or that they admire your homemade curtains? Did someone ask you where you got that awesome table or bookcase only to find out that you made it? NOTE: Don’t discount a skill based on not liking an aspect of it. For instance, if you are great with numbers, but didn’t enjoy being an accountant, it doesn’t mean there isn’t another great fit for you, such as data analysis or forecast modeling.

#4: What does your ideal work day look like?

You can try a fun visualization exercise before answering this one. Try closing your eyes and visualize what an ideal day at work would look like, and more importantly, feel like, for you. Don’t focus on what the actual job involves. What type of co-workers do you have in this ideal job, e.g. motivated, collaborative, creative, or independent? Or do you not picture co-workers at all, and see yourself working mostly alone? What is the management style of your dream boss, such as detail-oriented or more unstructured but supportive? Or are you the boss or business owner? What does the environment look like, e.g. bright open space, private office with door, your own house, or frequent traveling to different cities or countries?

When you feel excited and happy in the visualization, like it almost seems real, then you’ve succeeded in tricking your brain, so now you can open your eyes. Jot down everything you experienced in this visualization. Notice how close or far this ideal work day is from your current work experience. Also, keep in mind, that your ideal work day may look very different than your friends or family’s version, and that’s okay—own your vision and don’t let peer pressure talk you out of it.

#5: What would you be doing right now if money was no object?

What would you be doing if money did not matter at all to you? Even if your first inclination is to say “nothing,” think past the initial period of lounging on the couch playing video games or binge-watching Game of Thrones. People thrive when they feel they are living up to their full potential. Would you start your own charitable foundation? Your own business? Would you travel the world and experience new cultures? Move closer to family or loved ones?  Hint: Answering this question also helps you identify your true values in life.

Begin the Journey Toward Your New Career

Your new career starts now.

Too often people stay stuck in careers that aren’t satisfying to them, many times to fears or limiting beliefs about what they think is possible for them. So many of our challenges in life are mental, rather than physical, so use these questions as a starting point. Read through all your responses and notice any common themes, words, or ideas. These repetitions give clues as to potential career ideas. Keep in mind that there is usually not one perfect job out there for you, just like there’s not one perfect partner, so you’re just opening yourself up to possibilities at this point. Use your answers as food for thought in your journey toward a new career, and take the first step today. Did you notice any similarities in your responses to these questions? Did any of your answers surprise you? What step will you take next?

Kristi Helvig, Ph.D., C.P.C., is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified professional life and career coach who works with clients all over the world via the magic of Skype. Contact Dr. Kristi to set up a free coaching consultation at drhelvig (at) yahoo.com.

Career Coaching Insights: 5 Reasons People Stay in Jobs They Don’t Love

If you’ve read my prior post on determining whether your job is a good energetic fit for you or not, and you also believe that life is short (because it is), then you may wonder why on Earth someone would choose to stay in a job they don’t love? Everyone knows that one person who complains endlessly about their job yet never does anything about it. Why would they do that? There are actually multiple reasons why people stay too long in unsatisfactory jobs and there are even valid reasons for doing so. If you’re a single parent with six children to feed and put through school, it’s risky to chuck your day job to pursue your dream of becoming a slam poet. Also, in general, people don’t love change—it’s uncomfortable. But as I’ve said before, all true growth happens outside of your comfort zone and you can use mindfulness to help you through the process of change.

Here are the top 5 reasons I’ve heard from my career coaching clients for staying in jobs they don’t love:

  1. Fear of the Unknown. This is commonly known as “the devil you know is better than the one you don’t” excuse. Your job may have exhausting demands that involve over-time and having to skip your child’s ballgame or you may have the boss from hell but at least you know what to expect…and what if the next job/boss/commute is even worse?   
  2. Fear of Starting Over/Change. Even if you know you absolutely do not want to keep doing the job you are doing, you’ve been doing it for enough time that you are making decent money at it; therefore, starting in a new field could involve taking lower pay or having to start at a more entry level job. Also, who wants to hire someone [whatever age you are]? I’ve had clients think they were “too old” for a new job at 35! Though ageism in our society is unfortunately a real thing, I’ve had clients successfully change careers well in their 60’s.
  3. Fear of Stepping Outside the Box. This one has to do with societal norms and I hear this one from people who are thinking of starting their own business rather than finding another traditional job. Things like a steady paycheck, 401K match, and paid vacation days are not generally associated with being an entrepreneur and therefore more risk is involved. Some people are naturally more risk-averse than others, which is totally okay, and you just need to know where you fall on this spectrum. Not everyone wants to own their own business.
  4. Fear of Who You Are If You Aren’t [This] Job. This is usually the ego talking. For instance, if someone has been in corporate finance for decades, you may attach your identity to your career and wonder who you would be if you weren’t “Bob from accounting.” Or maybe you’ve invested a ton of money and time into becoming “Sally the lawyer.” (Side note: it’s interesting to me how many lawyers I’ve had as clients!) Sometimes, pressure comes from society, friends, or family to be in a certain job due to perceived benefits such as pay, status, or credibility. The key is to tap into what you want because it’s you, not them, doing that job every day.
  5. Fear of What You Would Do Instead. Sometimes people come to me for career coaching because they know they don’t want to do their current job but they have no idea what they want to do instead. Sometimes, they aren’t even sure what their true strengths or passions are. There are many exercises you can do to figure this out but it’s still scary when you don’t know exactly what you want to do next.

What do these all have in common?  FEAR. All of these are fear-based responses. Does that mean the fears are unrealistic? No, some of them are very real, hence why many people stay stuck in jobs they don’t like. But overall, people are happiest in life when they make decisions based on what they want rather than what they fear. I’m going to repeat that in a different way because it’s so important. When you live your life as much as possible focused on what you want rather than what you don’t want, you are placing your energy on the good instead of the negative—and wherever you place your energy grows. Some call this the law of attraction but it’s really a law of energy. You can be realistic about mitigating the concerns and fears you have while still taking steps toward your dream career. Too often, people use their fears as a reason to stand still and take no steps at all. It’s easier to by overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear than to break through it and take small action steps.

Now what?

Do any of these fears sound familiar to you? Which one resonated most with you? Are there other reasons you have stayed in a job you didn’t like? Usually, there is a tipping point for my clients—they reach out to me when their desire for change is greater than their fears. Notice that I didn’t say the fears magically disappear—but they have decided to take steps despite those fears, which is always the fastest way to overcome them and create a more fulfilling life. This quote by George Eliot sums it up pretty well:

“It is never too late to be who you might have been.”

Kristi Helvig is a Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Professional Coach who helps clients reach their goals all over the world through the magic of Skype. If you’re ready to change careers or would like a free consultation to see if coaching is right for you, please email Dr. Kristi at kristi@prosperitycoachingandconsulting.com.

5 Ways to Test Drive a New Career

Have you already determined that you’re ready to move in a different career direction? Maybe you’ve even identified one or even several possible new career options. It warrants mentioning that there is no one perfect career out there for you, but you will find that several career paths best suit your individual skills and desires. So now what? Sure, you could simply chuck your current job and blindly go out there to pursue your dream. This can work for some people, and the personality and career assessments I give to clients helps to identify who those risk-takers are, but for most people this would cause excessive anxiety and uncertainty. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Here are five ways that you can ease into a new career before jumping ship:

 

  1. Six degrees of separation – Okay, so maybe you don’t know someone who knows someone who knows Kevin Bacon…but there is something to this theory. You probably do know someone or someone who knows someone who is doing your dream job or has knowledge about how it. Offer to take them to coffee or lunch. Ask them questions. Your best bet for gaining crucial knowledge of a career is to talk to someone who is already doing it, and doing it well. What do they love about their job? What don’t they love? They will be a wealth of information, and finding out important information ahead of time can save you time and energy in reaching your goal. The power of networking is especially huge if you are changing fields entirely. You have a better chance of finding an “in” to a different field if someone knows you and can vouch for you. You need to get your foot in the door before you can convince someone how your skills translate to that area.
  2. Research – if you’re reading this article then you have an understanding of how to use the internet to find information…and you know that Googling is a verb. 😉 There is so much available online – just use a search engine to explore a specific career field and you can find things from salary information to success stories of people in that field.
  3. Volunteer or Intern – Many times, you can gain enormous insight into a possible career by volunteering a few hours a week. Non-profit organizations, hospitals, and shelters are just a few examples of places that use volunteers. Many other businesses offer internships (some unpaid, some paid) to those who want to break into a field. If a place doesn’t offer either of these, you can always offer yourself as an unpaid intern or volunteer– the worst they can say is no.
  4. Take classes – your new career field might require additional learning or certification. Some of these courses might be online which makes it easier for those working a full-time job. I’ve had clients do everything online from learning computer coding to obtaining their real estate license. Another bonus of doing this while remaining at your current job is that depending on the type of classes, some or all of the tuition may be reimbursed by your employer. You can check with your HR department ahead of time.
  5. Moonlight – unless your current career forbids this, you can start doing your new career on the side to see how you like it. Especially if your new venture involves self-employment, starting it out on the side allows you to keep the financial stability of your current job while going through the growing pains of a starting a new business.

Changing careers always involves an element of the unknown but the rewards can be enormous. Being uncomfortable is actually a good sign, because the greatest growth in life always occurs beyond your comfort zone. Good luck and remember:

“You miss 100% of the shots not taken.” —Wayne Gretzky, hockey great

Do you feel ready for a career change but want more help? Contact Dr. Helvig today for a free consultation to see if career coaching would benefit you at drhelvig (at) yahoo.com.

Feeling Stuck in Your Job? Get a Career Coaching Consultation

Feeling stuck in your job? Read my client’s story below and see if you can relate, then contact me for your FREE career coaching consultation today!

Abby* is a professional in the corporate world who came to see me because despite the great money and benefits she received from her job, she was not happy. She realized she had been unhappy for years, but had convinced herself that the money and security was worth the trade-off. She had also gone through a divorce, and did not want to have to count on someone else for her livelihood. Like many of my clients, she came to me because she reached “a breaking point.”

For her, that breaking point seemed an unlikely one—she had been given a promotion with more responsibilities, a fancier job title, and more money. One of those responsibilities involved her supervising others, and she quickly discovered it was not a task she enjoyed, stating, “I don’t want to babysit other adults.” She struggled with the fact that she knew others would consider her lucky and envy her “success,” but in truth, she felt miserable and knew in her gut that something needed to change.

Due to the divorce, and wanting to be self-reliant, Abby had been diligent about saving her money and after assessing her financial needs, she concluded she did not need to make the same amount of money she had been making in her corporate job in order to thrive. After completing several assessments and assignments, as well as introducing mindfulness concepts such as meditation, Abby discovered her true career passion where she felt she could really make a difference in an area that reflected her personal values. We laid out a step-by-step plan for Abby to transition to her new desired line of work. Abby expressed regret that she had waited so long before making the change, but I told her that I’ve worked with clients who were in their mid-60’s and that it’s never too late to change your life for the better.

Abby ended up in a meaningful and rewarding job that lined up with her values and brought in a higher salary than she had anticipated. She commented at the end of our work that “everyone should hire a coach,” but in truth, it’s not for everyone. Many people go through their life, living it according to the expectations of others, whether it be parents, spouses, or friends. They go through the motions, achieving the commonly accepted versions of success in our society, even if there is an emptiness inside that they can’t identify. All personal growth happens outside of one’s comfort zone, and it takes a brave person to make themselves uncomfortable on purpose. While some of my clients were made uncomfortable by outside circumstances, such as getting laid off due to down-sizing, most of my clients have decided on their own to make big changes. If you aren’t waking up every day excited for your job, or if you feel you aren’t thriving and that something is missing, then coaching might be for you.

Contact Dr. Kristi today to set up a FREE 30-minute career consultation if you’re ready to change your life: Kristi@ProsperityCoachingandConsulting.com

*Name and identifying information changed to protect confidentiality

Happy 2017: Goal Setting and Career Coaching for the New Year

 

Happy 2017! This is Dr. Kristi here, and I know you’ve seen Dr. Todd’s post about goal setting earlier this week, so this is my spin on approaching the new year. I will admit that even as a very upbeat person, the end of 2016 was rough for me on several levels. I attended several funerals for people who died well before their time (ages 39 and 18 respectively), as well as saw the deaths of many of my beloved childhood icons from Prince to Princess Leia. This combined with the political ugliness of election season made me really happy to see the end of 2016.

Yet, with every ending comes new beginnings, and I believe that going through emotional pain often causes self-reflection and allows you to view the essence of what is most important to you. For me, that has always been family and career, in that order, and where I will continue to put my energy in the coming year. I’m not a believer in resolutions as they don’t tend to stick for a lot of the same reasons extreme diets don’t work. However, I am a believer in creating goals and then taking small steps each day toward reaching them. At the beginning of each year, I create a goal list and then do some reverse engineering to figure out what steps I need to take, and in what order.

One of the great things about hiring a life or career coach is the accountability factor, as there will be days you don’t feel like taking steps. I have awesome (and very honest) clients who sometimes tell me they only took their next step because they knew they had a Skype session with me that week. That’s great, and I’m a firm believer in the notion that ‘slow and steady’ accomplishes a great deal over time. Ask any financial planner about saving for retirement and they’ll tell you the same thing. If I wasn’t married to another psychologist/coach who holds me accountable (but only when I ask him to or we’d have problems), *grins* you can bet I’d hire one too. In terms of my goals for the year, I have a fiction anthology coming out in the Spring, and another completed novel in production now, also for a Spring 2017 release and need to work on a marketing plan for both books. By the end of 2017, I want to have another novel written and ready for production, as well as complete my non-fiction book on career coaching. This means I have to write about 500 words per day, which is very doable.

In terms of personal goals, I want to continue a consistent yoga routine as well as increase mindfulness through more meditation as I feel healthier when I do it, and have found more creative ideas flow easily as a result. I use a tracking sheet to mark my progress in all areas each week, and am in love with the Conquer Your Year planner, and will give more updates as I use this throughout the year. Note: I am not receiving any compensation to endorse this planner; I just started using it myself and love, love, love it.

I hope that you have a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2017, and that you reach all of your desired goals in life, love, and career. As always, please let me know if you have any questions about coaching, and I’ll be happy to answer them for you.

Live long and prosper,

Kristi

5 Steps to Help You Find Your Passion and Identify Your Dream Job

As a Ph.D. licensed clinical psychologist and certified professional coach, one of the favorite services I provide in my practice is career coaching. Some clients come to me because their job is no longer a fit for them, and common phrases I hear are “I can’t stand one more day of corporate” or some variation of “this job is sucking the life out of me.” Reasons for staying in the job are often due to stability, financial gain, and many times, fear of the unknown. There’s something to the saying, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t,” so people sometimes stay in unsatisfying jobs, relationships, etc. due to the belief that “it could always be worse.” That is surviving, rather than thriving, and my goal is for people to thrive in every aspect of their life.

 

Medium Career Compass

Some clients who see me already know exactly what they want, which ranges from starting their own business to getting into real estate. I’d estimate those clients are about 40% of my clientele. More often than not, I hear some variation of “Help, I’m [insert age] and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”  They know they want to do something different, but aren’t sure what exactly that is. Some fell into jobs based on opportunity, parental or familial expectations, or preconceived notions rather than identifying what they wanted to do with their life. They operated more from a “should” versus “want” mindset.

In terms of our generation, we’re very fortunate that we have more freedom to explore what we want versus the survival mode of generations past. As I’ve worked with people from ages 20 through 70, I can say with certainty that it’s never too late to find your dream job. However, most people carry fears and blocks of what they think is possible for them, and part of coaching is to explore and challenge these limiting beliefs. One of my favorite quotes is courtesy of Henry Ford:

 “Whether you think that you can or think that you cannot,

you are right.”

So many of our challenges in life are mental, rather than physical, and it’s so rewarding to see people move out of their comfort zones by changing how they think, and then experience personal growth. Coaching in these cases starts with clarifying the individuals’ strengths and passions. I often use a combination of personality and career inventory assessments with clients, as they help to identify potential ideal jobs based on a combination of personality traits (e.g. introvert versus extrovert), and job skills and interests. However, even if you’re not working with a career coach, there are still steps you can take to help you clarify your next career move.  I recommend starting with what you’re passionate about, but what if you’re not sure where your passion lies?

Finding your Passion

Here are a few ways to unlock your potential dream job or career. Take a pen or pencil and answer the following questions honestly. This is important, rather than doing it by computer or tablet, as handwriting has been shown to activate different parts of the brain than typing. There are no right or wrong answers, so write as much as you like, and in any form you like (bullet points, sentences, phrases, etc.)

1. What are your hobbies? When do you feel so involved in something that you lose track of time? The definition of a hobby is: an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. It’s something done due to the love of doing it, rather than a secondary gain. Some potential responses might be: when I’m gardening, skiing, rock climbing, reading, woodworking, playing with my children, or fixing a car. You get the idea but feel free to brainstorm here – you will probably come up with more than one answer, which is great.

I’ll share my own personal story here too: I write sci-fi and fantasy novels for fun. When I started several years ago, it was purely for the love of doing it and I had no idea anything would come of it. Fast forward several years, and I have several published sci-fi novels through a New York publisher and am a regular speaker at Comic Con. My novel writing is different now, because it’s part of my business, which I love, but turning a hobby into a business isn’t for everyone.

2. What skills do you have that you feel set you apart from others? This could be having an amazing aptitude with numbers or being someone who easily makes new friends. If this question is hard for you, think about the last time you got a compliment. Has someone told you that you’re an outside the box thinker, creative, a great cook or that they admire your homemade curtains? Did someone ask you where you got that awesome table or bookcase only to find out that you made it? NOTE: Don’t discount a skill based on not liking an aspect of it. For instance, if you are great with numbers, but didn’t enjoy being an accountant, it doesn’t mean there isn’t another great fit for you involving numbers.

3. Write down your ideal work day. Don’t focus on what the actual job involves (seriously). First, just close your eyes and visualize what your perfect day would look like, and most importantly, feel like. What type of co-workers do you have (motivated, excited, creative, etc.)? What is the relationship of your boss like (or are you the boss?) If you prefer autonomy and don’t like to be micro-managed, then visualize a supportive and accessible boss who encourages your independence. What does the environment look like (bright open space, cubicles, office with door, outside, frequent traveling to different cities, etc.)

When you feel really happy like it almost feels real to you (and you’re smiling), then you’ve succeeded and have tricked your brain, so now you can open your eyes. Jot down everything you loved about this visualization. I’ll do another post soon about the power of visualization exercises and research about how they impact the brain. One powerful exercise I do as a follow-up with my clients is to examine how close or how far this ideal day is from their current work experience.

4. When you surf the internet, read books, or browse magazines, what are you drawn toward? Do you love going to travel sites, or do you prefer reading current news or the latest thriller, romance, or military novel? Clarifying your interests helps you to identify your passions.

 5. What would you be doing right now if money were no object? What would you be doing if money did not matter at all to you? Even if your first inclination is to say “nothing,” think past that honeymoon period of sitting on the couch playing PS4 or binge-watching Game of Thrones. People thrive when they feel they are living up to their full potential. Would you start your own charitable foundation? Your own business? Would you travel the world and experience new cultures? Move closer to family or loved ones?

Conclusions:                                                                                              

Now, go back through all of your responses and read them again. Highlight or circle any common themes, words, or ideas. These repetitions give clues as to potential career ideas. Keep in mind that there is usually not one perfect job out there for you (just like there’s not one perfect partner), so you’re just opening yourself up to possibilities at this point. Hopefully, this has given you some food for thought in your journey toward a new career.

Next time, I will go over some of the incredible power of visualization exercises in your career (whether you want to change careers or simply move to the next level in your current career).

Until then…:)  Kristi