Harnessing the Power of Mornings

 female hands with coffee cup and victory sign sticking out from the blanket at home or hotel

Last time, we discussed the power of time chunking in order to reach your goals. Today, we’ll talk about the power of mornings. Let me begin by saying that I am not a natural morning person. Unlike my hubby, who easily arises without an alarm each day to work out before heading off to work, I pretty much always need an alarm (and am not sending it loving thoughts when it goes off each day). For many years, I was a self-professed night owl but now find that after a long day of work, exercise, dog walking, and kid activities, all my brain can handle at the end of the day is a good Netflix show with my hubby. I often hear this same sentiment from my coaching clients so know that I’m not alone. From firsthand experience, I also know that harnessing the power of mornings doesn’t come as naturally to some as for others. This will hopefully give you the motivation you need to try getting up a little earlier so you can use the magic of those early morning hours before the rest of the world awakens.

Ways you can use early morning time:

1) Start your day with a win. Some people like to start their day off with exercise (one of my career coaching clients walks before work at 4a each morning, come rain or shine). Personally, you couldn’t pay me to work out at 4a but I do make my bed first thing upon awakening so as to get that psychological win. The goal is to start off the day having accomplished something. (Note: small wins are still wins so make it easy on yourself and set yourself up to succeed).

2) Self-care. Whether you meditate, journal, go for a walk or sit outside with a hot cup of coffee, if you start out the day doing something for yourself, it makes it easier to stay grounded when the chaos of the day starts, the kids wake up, work notifications start flooding your phone, etc. You feel more centered and ready to handle your day when you put the oxygen mask on yourself first.

3) Set an intention for the day. This is an easy or quick way to set the tone for the day. It takes a minute and you can do it while you’re still sitting in bed if you want or you can wait until you’re sipping your favorite morning beverage. Simple take a few deep, cleansing breaths and think about your day and what you would like to intend before the sun goes down. You could set an intention that a work presentation goes smoothly, or simply that you will stay in the present moment and listen more than you talk that day.

4) Get quality work time in. There is magic in the time before the actual “workday” begins. Some of my career coaching clients tell me they have so many meetings and tasks throughout the day that they just don’t have time for bigger project planning or strategic thinking. Schedule a block of time before the first meeting of the day (give yourself 30-60 minutes of time) and devote it to the bigger picture things you haven’t had time for. (Note:don’t check work email until after you’ve accomplished your task or you will get sucked into the email rabbit hole and will waste that time).

5) Make art. Many of my life-coaching and career-coaching clients have a creative side and often find that they don’t have time to devote to their art. The early mornings are a great time to carve out dedicated time for painting, writing, etc. This is one of the big ways I use my mornings as I’ve written several novels this way and writing is so fun for me that it’s one of my main motivators for getting up early in the morning. And yes, your brain gets in the habit of being creative then—in fact, I’ve found that I’m able to write more freely when I’m a little tired because my internal editor is still napping so I get more done. (Note: if you have small children in the house, it’s probably not the time for practicing your latest tuba composition so musicians may need to take that into account)

Tips to ensure successful mornings:

1) Get adequate sleep. Go to bed at a reasonable time the night before to ensure adequate quality sleep. While some may thrive on 6 hours of sleep, others need between 7-8 hours per night to feel well-rested. Try using a meditation to help you fall asleep faster and go into deeper stages of sleep where the quality magic happens in your body.

2) Program your coffee or tea maker the night before. I don’t know about you but it’s way easier for me to wake up with the aroma of fresh brewed coffee in the air. A perk of my hubby being a morning person is he gets up and brews the coffee so that a hot cup of coffee is waiting next to my bedside when I wake up each morning (yes, I’m spoiled).

3) Have a goal for the morning. If you have a picture in mind beforehand of what you desire your morning to look like, it will be easier to get up with that goal in mind. For some of my clients, it’s exercise. For others, it’s having quiet reflection time to themselves with coffee and journaling before their household wakes up. For others, it’s working on a project or work task, or making art, or meditating. You may have different goals depending on the day. Whatever your thing is, declare it the night before and it makes it easier when that alarm goes off in the morning.

BONUS: Read The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I love this book and recommend it to many of my clients. It’s a quick, easy read but also easy to implement. You can pick and choose what works for you and use that to help you design the morning of your dreams.  

To Sum Up:

How you start your day impacts how the rest of your day goes. If you hit the snooze button multiple times and then frantically rush around trying to get to work or get the kids off to school on time, you are starting your day in chaos. You get to choose. Choose to take power back over your mornings and start the day feeling great. Once you experience the impact of designing your ideal mornings, you’ll never look back.

Want to work with Dr. Kristi and design your dream life? Dr. Kristi works with clients all over the world thanks to the magic of the internet. Sign up for a free 20-minute consultation to see if coaching is a good fit for you! Contact drkristi@prosperitycoachingandconsulting.com to schedule today.

Harnessing The Power of Time Chunking To Achieve Goals

Man creating schedule on digital calendar

General Goal Setting

One of the main aspects of coaching involves clarifying goals and then breaking those goals down into small, actions steps. Goals can often feel so big and overwhelming that you don’t know where to start … so you don’t do anything at all (action paralysis). Once the goals are broken down into much smaller steps, it becomes manageable and you’re much more likely to succeed when you just focus on “the next step” rather than the huge goal.

The power of small, consistent steps over time has been proven time and time again. In the financial realm, simply investing once a month allows the magic of compound interest to do its thing over the years. Exercising just several times per week yields enormous health benefits in the long term and lowers your risk for many undesired conditions. On the personal front, reading a bedtime story to your child each night or a making time for a date night each week with a significant other can prove immeasurable in terms of the quality of your relationships with your loved ones.  

You can check out my previous post on Mastering Daily Goals (from my 4-Part Goal-Setting Series) for tips and tricks that I teach to my career-coaching and life-coaching clients about how to maximize their time. However, sometimes we can lose motivation doing something day in and day out—it’s why auto-investing for retirement or exercising with a friend are so successful. Every goal does better with a little boost that makes the goal easier to accomplish.

This is where time chunking can make a big difference. Many people have daily to-do lists involving multiple goals but it can often feel like the more you cross off, the more things you’re adding to the list. You don’t always feel like you’re making progress in each area. So, the key isn’t just to break down goals into smaller steps; it’s also to break them down into more efficient time blocks.

Why you sometimes need a different type of goal-setting:

Many people set goals at the beginning of a year but a year is a long time. It’s difficult to sustain motivation for 12 months. Additionally, some goals aren’t long-term and are more time dependent or specific. It’s much easier to sustain energy toward a goal for a week, a month, or even a quarter. Three-month “sprints” toward goals are popular for a reason (I tend to write my fiction novels in 12-week sprints) and it’s why I offer several 12-week coaching packages to my life and career-coaching clients. The momentum tends to be stronger during shorter periods of time and you can accomplish a ton when you are laser-focused and excited.

What exactly is time chunking? Time chunking simply involves condensing several action items toward one specific goal into a “chunk” of time. So, rather than do tasks scattered throughout the day or week toward multiple goals, you schedule a larger block of time where you tackle 3-4 action items toward one desired goal. You dive deep into tasks related to that one goal and therefore make faster progress in that area. You are more focused and ultimately more productive.

How is that different than regular goal-setting? Say you have an overall goal of improving your health and fitness for the year. Rather than setting an overall goal of exercising three times per week for the next year (doesn’t that just sound long and boring?), you create a sprint goal such as your own personal Health & Wellness Month where you dedicate a chunk of time three mornings per week where you exercise, meditate for 5 minutes, and journal. Track your progress on a chart or planner to ensure success (Note: feel free to email me if you want a free tracking sheet you can customize). Yes, it may involve getting up a little earlier three mornings per week but again, you’re only committing to it for a month. You will notice a much bigger difference in one month by doing time chunking.

Why it Works? As mentioned earlier, you are dedicating a block of time to something and can make more progress faster by staying focused on that one goal. If you have your own business, you may set aside a weekly block of time for marketing or social media. You may have another time for writing blog posts or going over your business plan. Many of my clients swear by setting aside weekly or monthly chunks of time for strategic planning—that big-picture planning we often lose when we get caught up in day-to-day tasks. Finally, by making it a time-limited goal, you’re setting yourself up to succeed at it … and that feeling creates more motivation to tackle something else. You can then change things up and tackle a different goal the next week or month.

Make It Fun

It’s always easier to stay motivated when something is fun. Create a theme week or month around your goal and name it something creative or humorous. One of my clients had been putting off a lot of financial tasks that he had to do because they involved tedious things such as finding multiple documents and doing paperwork. He decided to create a Financial Freedom theme week, where he addressed multiple financial tasks each day in chunks of time after work, and even met with a financial planner at the end of it all (and subsequently found out he could retire much earlier than he’d thought!) That one week made a huge difference in his life. He told me he wished he’d done it years ago.

Use time-chunking to address your biggest desires. Been meaning to update your resume and cover letter because you’re ready to move on? Have a Take This Job & Shove It week. Need more work/life balance? Have a Find My Inner Zen month. Is your basement in desperate need of decluttering? Enjoy The Purge week. Need more quality time with your partner? Make it a Love, Lust, and Chocolate month. You get the idea. The key is then breaking your theme down into daily or weekly tasks that will allow you to accomplish your goals.

Time-Chunking Challenge

Think of a theme week around a goal you have in any area of your life. Then, apply time-chunking and schedule several blocks of time for the week (actually put in in your calendar!) where you get specific and list several tasks you will accomplish during each time. See how you feel at the end of the week and email me to let me know how it went!  

Want to work with Dr. Kristi on life or career goals? Email drkristi@prosperitycoachingandconsulting.com to schedule a free 20-minute consultation today.

Productivity in the Time of COVID

Productivity in the Time of COVID-19

If you’re like many people, you’re now wondering why you bothered getting a day planner at all for the year 2020. This year has been chaotic for all of us, between quarantining, kids doing school at home, and massive shifts in the workplace. Many people lost their jobs entirely and have struggled to support their families. As of this writing, over 170,000 Americans have died due to COVID and a plateau doesn’t seem to be on the horizon yet. I know several people who have lost their lives to this awful illness, and on a personal note, I became severely ill with COVID in February and was sick for months (hence the long pause in blog posts). Life this year has been very, very far from normal.

Honestly, life probably won’t return to normal as we know it anytime in the foreseeable future. Though there are plenty of negatives to this year, there are some silver linings—many of my clients have said they’ve been happier working more from home, and even though they’ve returned to some office hours, they are able to continue working in some capacity from their house. Others have valued their increased family time and ability to exercise more. Overall, this year made many people re-evaluate priorities and what matters in life. Once I recovered enough from my illness to function again, I valued every extra second I got to spend with my teenage children. They are normally so busy with school and extra-curricular activities that I barely see them, and yet, I got a few MONTHS with them all to myself (okay, and my husband)—taking walks, watching movies, and playing games. As the kids are already ramping up again with their respective activities, I look back on these past few months with them as a priceless gift. I’ve also been super grateful for my health (and for my shiny new antibodies however long they last).

But what about business productivity? Personally, I had to almost close down my own business entirely while I was sick with COVID-related issues such as pneumonia, pleurisy, and kidney problems. Luckily, I didn’t have any underlying high-risk health issues and was super healthy prior to getting sick so I was able to bounce back but it still took almost four months to get back to full capacity.

Basically, my productivity tanked. Since then, I’ve geared back up and gotten back into the swing of things but it was a rough few months…and I wasn’t alone in that issue. One thing I’ve heard repeatedly from my life coaching and career coaching clients in the past few months is their own feeling of lack of productivity. The stress of this year has impacted them and they have periods where they feel less focused, less able to concentrate, and overall less productive. Sometimes, it’s due to having small children at home which makes working at home, well, challenging. Other times, it’s just the stress of the unknown and what the rest of this year will look like. Either way, I’ve been telling people the same thing I told myself during my period of shut down.

It’s okay. It’s fine if you’re not functioning at peak productivity right now. If you and your loved ones are healthy, and you still have a job, consider yourself one of the lucky ones because many people haven’t been as lucky (see current death statistics and unemployment numbers). I’ve had clients tell me it’s even difficult to read a book right now. That’s okay too. Do things that make you feel good. For me, it’s been meditating and exercising daily, getting plenty of sleep, taking long walks with my hubby, and playing with my dogs and kids. 

Here’s the thing: If you allow yourself to acknowledge the stress and focus on self-care rather than dwell on what you’re not getting done, it will help you get back on track even faster. I had many a day where my business to-do list remained untouched, and I forced myself to instead put my attention on healing and all the things I was grateful for. The meditating and exercising has allowed me to keep my balance despite the continued chaos in our world, and time with family has kept me focused on what I’m doing this all for in the first place. If I had just tried to push through it and ignore everything, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

And where am I now? I’m busier than I’ve ever been before with my business (so much so that I’m re-focusing on work/life balance) and on the writing side, I’ve published two novels and a short story in the last few months, completed another short story that will come out later this year, and am currently hard at work on two additional novels. I’m more productive now than I was before this nutty year even started, and that takes into account my four months of doing almost nothing—except trying to breathe.

I know this is a long post so I’ll summarize how to address productivity issues right now:

  • Give yourself a break and allow periods of being non-productive
  • Focus on self-care during this chaotic time and do things that help restore balance (meditation, exercise, time with loved ones, yoga, watching funny shows, etc)
  • List the positives of the down time: what are your silver linings?
  • Do what you can, when you can—and cheer yourself on for the little wins.
  • As you feel more productive, don’t overwhelm yourself with playing catch-up which can cause action paralysis—instead, take baby steps which will help you feel successful which increases motivation and leads to more steps
  • Those baby steps taken consistently turn into big things (e.g. my novel was written just 1,000 words at a time but doing it consistently led to completing the book!)

Bottom line: we’re living through an unprecedented time in history so be kind to yourself and to those around you. The world needs more kindness right now and that includes toward yourself! Hang in there, stay healthy out there, and please wear a mask.

Ready to explore other career options or want to meet a new life goal? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!

Overcoming Obstacles to Reach Your Goals: The Perils of Perfectionism

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a character trait characterized by a person’s quest for flawlessness and often involves critical self-evaluations and concern regarding others’ evaluations.

How does perfectionism hurt you?

Perfectionism is a really common obstacle that can hinder you from reaching your goals. It is closely tied to anxiety and the result is that you are so focused on everything being “right or perfect” that you prevent yourself from taking any action at all. That fear-based paralysis kicks in and you are so caught up in worrying whether something is totally ready that you don’t move forward. This is not to say that you should not worry about quality and go through life doing a half-assed job at everything; it’s saying that you should do the best you can and then keep on moving. Interestingly, perfectionism is more common in those who were identified as gifted/talented when in school so consider it an honorable problem to have.

Action breeds action while the reverse is also true. If you just wait and wait until you feel that something is “just right,” you will likely be waiting for a very long time. Conversely, if you do your best and then put something out there, that step helps you to create future steps.

The Car Analogy

If you’re planning to drive your car from, let’s say Missouri to California, and you look at Google Maps or whatever you use, and do some planning about the best route to take and pack your bags and plot out how to avoid rush hour, etc., you will still never get to California unless you turn the dang car on and start driving! Could you get lost? Yes, and luckily, you can turn the car around or go a different direction and learn as you go. Could it get dark out? Yes, and then your headlights will turn on to help you navigate in the dark. What if something goes wrong? Flat tires, dead alternators, and other assorted car problems happen—that’s part of being a car owner but those things can be remedied even if it causes a delay in your travel.

I don’t even live in Missouri so what’s the point? All goals involve some challenges and detours, but if you start taking action, you figure out how to overcome those challenges and sometimes the detours end up being even better than your initial intended goal. Basically, a car parked safely in your driveway will never go anywhere.  

3 ways to handle perfectionism:

  1. Take a step. Any step. Figure out the most logical place to start with your goal and then take that first step. Remember: there is boldness in action.
  2. Plan on missteps. If it goes smoothly, great—now you can plan the next step. But if something goes awry or a challenge presents itself, use it as a learning tool and make adjustments. Remember: you learn more from what goes wrong than what goes right! My son once complained about getting 98% on a test and missing one question. I asked him what that question was and he knew it right away (and the correct answer) and said he would never forget that one again.
  3. Get help. There are multiple things you could try to address perfectionism. Try a meditation practice for anxiety, such as through Headspace or Brainsync. Read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (I’ve recommended this book to many of my clients and they have gotten so much out of it). If your anxiety/perfectionism is crippling or preventing you from living your dream life, consider getting professional help from a therapist or counseling. Remember: getting help is a sign of strength because no successful person did it all on their own.  

Start today by taking a step toward your goal even though it might be scary or make you feel vulnerable. The more steps you take, the less scary it becomes and perfectionism will become a thing of the past. I’ll leave you with this quote that eloquently speaks to letting go of fear.

“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”—Andre Gide

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a FREE coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you at: drkristi@prosperitycoachingandconsulting.com.  

Overcoming Obstacles To Reach Your Goals: Stop Should-ing Yourself to Death

What Do You Want?

The Common Shoulds of Society

We’ve already covered several common obstacles to reaching your goals, including those pesky negative thoughts and having a lack mindset. Today, we will address how to stop “should-ing yourself.” We live in a society driven by “shoulds.” Finance websites are more than happy to tell you what you should be doing with your money—save for retirement, invest in bitcoin, flip real estate, etc. Well-meaning friends and parents also have a multitude of opinions of what you should be doing with your life—get a stable job (“Be an accountant”), get married, buy a home, have children. I’m not saying that those things like having kids or buying a home are bad things—I’ve happily done both of those—I’m just encouraging you to take in all of the information and make your own informed decisions based on what’s best for YOU!

I can’t tell you how many clients sit in my office and ponder whether they “should” make a certain decision based on a variety of factors. They’ll ask me: “Do you think I should (insert “should” here: change jobs, go for the promotion and so on)?” and then wait expectantly for my answer. I often answer them with a simple question of my own: “Do you want to?” They sometimes stare at me as though I’ve asked a question in a foreign language. More often than not, I get a response along the lines of “I never thought about it.” They’ll go on to tell me they’ve been trained in a certain job field and figured it was logical to continue in that industry even though they dreaded going to work every day, or felt they would let their parents/friends/partner down if they left a stable or highly-regarded industry (have I mentioned how many lawyers I’ve had as clients?), or they felt stuck because they valued their salary even though they felt the job was crushing their soul.

Why Should is a Red Flag Word

Whenever you feel that you should do something, take a closer look because the word should usually indicates that it’s coming from somewhere (or someone) outside of yourself. For instance, a client told me he felt he should take a promotion in his company even though he couldn’t stand the job. When asked why he felt he should do that, he acknowledged that the people around him, including his parents, would view him as a success if he accepted a promotion. When I asked “Do you want to take the promotion?” it became crystal clear to him that he did not want it.

I point out that if I tell clients what I think they should do, they’ve again given their power away to an external source rather than empowering themselves. It shouldn’t matter what I think they should do; it only matters what they want for themselves. My job is to help them step into that power, discover what they want, and then help them to achieve it. Here’s the thing: nobody is more of an expert about you than you. Yes, in my role as a career coach, I help clients to unlock their potential, clarify their goals, and then break those goals down into achievable steps, but I would never presume to tell someone what those goals should be.

Is Should Always a Bad Thing?

No. For instance, you should pay your taxes because that’s part of being in a society, even though it’s not necessarily something you want to do. Let’s look at another common should. It’s common knowledge that exercise is good for you and has lots of benefits so you should do it. But it’s what you tell yourself that matters (remember the power of words we addressed in the negative thoughts post), so I encourage you to reframe those shoulds into wants if they are areas you want to improve. Figure out the want that is behind the should. Look at the following two sentences:

I should exercise more and lose some weight.

I want to be healthy and have lots of energy to care for myself and those around me.

Which of those statements is more positive and attaches personal empowerment to it? See the difference between the should statement versus the want? Let’s try one related to finances:

I should save more money for retirement.

I want to be financially independent in order to pursue my dreams and provide for my family.

Try saying the two statements out loud. Which statement is more motivating to you? In another post, we will look at the importance of the WHY behind your goals, but for now, we will look at how to focus on what you want rather than what you should do.

Here’s a quick exercise where you will reframe two should statements into want statements. Pick two areas in your life that you want to improve (not an area where others think you should improve) and write a should and want statement for each one.

  1. I should _________________________________________________________.
  2. I want ___________________________________________________________.
  1. I should _________________________________________________________.
  2. I want ___________________________________________________________.

2 Quick Steps to Refocus Your Shoulds

Step 1: Catch yourself whenever the word comes out of your mouth or pops into your head

Step 2: Stop and ask yourself, “What do I want?”

You will be surprised how quickly your real truth comes out when you pause to ask yourself that question. Next week, we will address the common obstacle known as “perfectionism.” Have a great week!

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!  

Overcoming Obstacles to Reach Your Goals: The “Lack” Mindset

This series of posts addresses common obstacles that people encounter when trying to reach their desired goals. Last week, we addressed how to overcome negative thinking. This time, we will talk about the common perceived obstacle of “lack.”

When people have difficulty reaching their personal and professional goals, they often point to a lack of something as a reason. Lack of time. Lack of money. Lack of energy. Lack of knowledge. Lack of skills. Lack of resources. And so on. This obstacle is common because if reaching goals were easy, everyone would do it. If your common lack belief is something along the lines of “lack of smarts” or “lack of being good enough,” then I encourage you to go back and read the first post in this series about negative beliefs. Also, what you tell yourself matters, so if you tell yourself that you can’t succeed because of some “lack,” then that will be the case (see above quote). For the rest of you, here are some tips for 3 of the most common “lacks.”

  1. Lack of time. I can’t tell you how often I hear this one from my life coaching and career coaching clients (hint: it’s a lot.) Here’s the thing. Everyone has 24 hours in a day: you, your boss, your friends, and even Bill Gates, and Beyonce. Whenever someone begins describing this lack to me, it becomes evident that the issue is actually “lack of time management” rather than time. I will do an entire post on time management in the future but people take great pride in listing off all of their responsibilities and things they do in their day and why they can’t possibly find time for anything extra. You don’t find time. You make time. If something is important enough to you, you will make the time. One quick tip: schedule that thing in your calendar and you are way more likely to do it. I am also a published sci-fi author, and someone once said to me, “I wish I had time to fritter away to write a book.” As though the magical time fairy sprinkled me with extra time that she didn’t have. I get up at 4:30a on weekdays before my kids get ready for school so that I can make time for writing before my other work. Make time for what matters to you.
  2. Lack of money. Unless you are the aforementioned Bill Gates or Beyonce, you likely have some limitations with your money. I tell clients that the quickest way to determine what they really value in life is to look at every penny they spent in the past month that wasn’t for a roof over their heads and electricity. Then, look for any areas where you could shift even a few dollars toward your goal. There are a ton of posts out there on ways to save more money (a google search is great for this), but start a fund for that goal, no matter how small it is. Online accounts even let you name the account whatever you want so make it your goal name or something fun, such as Trip to Ireland account, Start My Own Catering Business account, Freedom from Corporate Enslavement account, etc. In the meantime, be creative. What can you do with the funds you have now? I guarantee you can start somewhere, even if it’s a small step. All big things start with smaller things that add up. I know someone who sold their blood plasma to pay for editing of their first book. How badly do you want that goal?
  3. Lack of knowledge. Most of us are knowledgeable in certain areas but we may have goals that stretch beyond our expertise. I encourage this because I strongly believe that all growth happens outside our comfort zones. I’ve had clients want to shift jobs into entirely new fields, clients who wanted to remodel a room in their home, and even one who wanted to build a motorcycle even though they’d never done it before. Luckily, we live in an age where a plethora of information is literally at our fingertips. I’ve had clients take online classes through places like Harvard X to learn new information, look up YouTube videos on how to install/repair/remodel various things, and send out the word on social media and email that they were interested in a new career field. Remember: knowledge can always be obtained. Plus, being a life-long learner is the key to continued growth and evolving as a human.

In Summary: Those are the top 3 “lacks” that I hear from clients though there are obviously more. I’ve said this before but if you try to view challenges more as “opportunities in disguise,” you will become more creative to your approach in solving them and future challenges won’t seem as daunting. You can absolutely achieve your goals. The key is believing it.

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!  

Overcoming Obstacles to Reach Your Goals: Challenging Negative Thoughts

We started the year with a series of posts on how to set amazing goals for yourself. However, setting goals is always easier than accomplishing them, so next, I thought I’d address some of the common issues that cause people to stumble along the way. Today, we will tackle the super common obstacle of negative beliefs or negative thoughts.

What is a negative belief? Any thought you have that undermines your belief in yourself, others, and the world. It’s that little voice in the back of your head that acts as a naysayer to your hopes and dreams. We will focus on one’s beliefs about themselves rather than others/the world, as that is what primarily impacts your goals. As anyone’s perception of themselves is truly their reality, isn’t it better to create a reality you love instead of a negative one? Research from Cleveland Clinic found that we have about 50,000 spontaneous thoughts per day and the negative thoughts tend to be “stickier,” meaning they stay with you longer. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change how you think; and those researchers found that your brain does, in fact, change when you learn to think more positively.

What are some common negative thoughts? Some very common negative thoughts that I hear from my career coaching and life coaching clients are: I’m not experienced enough; I’m not lovable; I’m not smart enough; I’m not worthy; I’m not as good at “something” as others; etc. There are also extreme examples of this, such as when people say things to themselves, like: I’m stupid or I’m ugly.

How do negative thoughts impact my goals? Big goals aren’t easy to reach; otherwise, everyone around the world would be hugely successful and happy. Yet the difference between people who reach their goals and those who don’t isn’t typically incredible luck, skill, or lack of any obstacles. It’s perseverance and resilience. Talk to any so-called “overnight success” and they will tell you the hours of hard work and challenges they overcame to become successful.

Challenges are inevitable. They are a part of life. Plenty of people give up when they hit an obstacle due to negative thoughts, such as, I’ll never be able to do this or I’ll never be good enough. Learn to see challenges as opportunities in disguise and your life will change.

One of the greatest (if not the greatest) basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, who didn’t make the Varsity team in high school (he made JV) and interpreted that as being cut from the team, said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” He used his “failures” to drive him and motivate him to get even better. Everyone falls at times; the successful people are the ones who get up again.

How do I change my negative thoughts? Here are a few ways to tackle your negative thoughts.

  1. Identify them. Half the battle with anything in life is identifying the problem. Pick a day and catch yourself anytime you have a negative thought and stop and write that thought down (either on paper or in your phone). Do this for the entire day (or several days if you can). You will notice your patterns of typical thoughts and will likely be surprised at how often you have those thoughts. Don’t be hard on yourself. Negative thoughts are common and normal but if they’re keeping you from living your best life, you can address them.
  2. Challenge them. This is often hard to do at first which is why I have people do it on paper first. Look at your list of negative thoughts from the day and then write down a positive challenge to each thought. People who really believe their negative thoughts may have a hard time coming up with something positive they can believe. That’s okay. Start by pretending you’ve just told your best friend, a therapist, or a loved one the negative thought. How would they respond to you to challenge that thought? Write that challenge statement down even if you don’t believe it at first.
  3. Be consistent. Once you’ve written down the challenges to your negative thoughts, you are going to start catching yourself in the moment. As soon as the negative thought enters your head, immediately counter that thought with the challenge. You can do this anywhere since it’s a mental challenge, so your co-workers won’t wonder why you’re yelling “Yes, I am smart enough” at the office meeting.

Example:

Negative thought: I don’t have what it takes to get this promotion.

Challenge thought: I’m qualified for the job and have as good a chance as anyone.

Now what? After you consistently challenge those negative thoughts, you actually create new neural pathways in the brain. Eventually, instead of following the negative thoughts with a positive challenge, you will think the positive thought instead. Or you will have the negative thought and immediately dismiss it and not give attention to it. Then return to the positive statements that will help power you through to the next step. Next week, we will address the “lack” obstacle that can impact your goals (lack of time, money, resources, etc). Until then, challenge those thoughts!

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!  

Part 4: Mastering Your Daily Goals

In last week’s post on goal-setting, we discussed how to break down monthly goals into weekly ones. In this 4th and final post on goal-setting and how to set successful goals, we tackle the most important one: how to set daily goals that move you toward your larger overall goal. Since I live in Colorado, I’ll use the mountain analogy: if you want to climb a 14er, you have to focus on one step at a time because because looking up at the peak from the very bottom can seem daunting. However, if you just focus on where you are and taking that next step, you’ll realize you’ve already climbed half the mountain.

Here are some tips on how to tackle your goals on a daily basis. Based on the last post, you’ve already sat down and addressed your overall 1-2 weekly goals so here are what you do with those weekly tasks:

  1. Decide the next day’s daily goals the night before. This is really easy to do if it’s a work-related goal because by the end of the work day, you’ll have a good idea what your next task is based on where you ended. Either way, take 5 minutes to write down the next day’s goals before you go to sleep. A huge side benefit of this is that you can release any worries about what you have to do the next day because the process of writing it down allows you to let it go. My clients tell me they sleep better because of this one thing alone!
  2. Make the tasks simple but high-priority goals. In following the 80/20 rule, you get 80% of your results from 20% of your efforts, so find out what will make the most impact on your goals and start there. If your weekly goal is to eat healthier, your first daily task may be to hit the grocery store for some healthy items for meals. If the task is complex, only put the first part of that task on your list. For instance, if you’re looking to change careers, put one task related to that on your daily list (e.g. revise resume).
  3. Have no more than 3 daily tasks on your list. This one is hard for people but stay with me. One of the things I hear over and over again from clients is how they used to put 10-20 things on their daily to-do list, but (being that they’re human) they couldn’t get to everything, so they simply re-wrote those things day after day. Doing that makes the tasks lose their impact and makes you feel like you failed. It’s better to get bonus points for doing more on your list than feeling like you didn’t finish it.
  4. Do at least 1 of those goals first thing the next morning. Whether it’s getting in an exercise session before your household wakes up or getting into the office early to cross the first thing off your list, completing the first daily goal sets the tone for the day. You start out the day with a WIN, and that feeling of accomplishment and success is highly motivating and encourages more success.
  5. Protect your time around those goals! I have some clients who do not check email until that first goal is done (this method is very powerful and I work with many clients on this time management skill), while others shut their office door or go to a different room in their house. I even have one client who has a shared workspace and uses humor to protect this time … she uses headphones and hangs a sign on her chair that says Work in Progress for that period of time. Do whatever it takes!

Think about what will happen with your large goals if you take just 1-2 steps every day toward them for an entire year! You will be amazed at your progress, especially when you look back at where you started … like standing at the mountain peak enjoying the gorgeous view around you and proud of your determination to reach the top.

Get started right now! Think of your overall weekly goals (you can use a planner or journal to track your daily progress) and list your first 1-3 daily goals for tomorrow:

  1. _______________________________________
  2. _______________________________________
  3. _______________________________________

Good luck and may you reach all of your goals this year!

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!  

Part 3: Breaking Monthly Goals Down into Weekly Ones

In this 4-Part series on crushing your Goal-Setting for the year, we are exploring how you can set yourself up for success in 2020! In Part 1: We looked at how to create realistic annual goals. From there, we looked at how to break those huge goals down into monthly goals in Part 2. This week, we will look at how to create weekly goals from the monthly ones.

The weekly calendar picture is posted above for a very specific reason. Research has shown time and time again that people are more likely to stick to something if they actually write it down in their calendar. Whether you use a digital or paper planner (I’m old-school and adore paper), the key is that you block out time for the things you want to have happen. People use things such as Google calendar to enter their work meetings and client appointments all the time, and guess what? You typically show up for those appointments and meetings because it’s part of your job description. Imagine what you could do if you apply that same principle to your own personal and professional goals that you WANT to do!

I’ll give a few examples, but feel free to email if you have any questions about this. For example, if you have a goal of finding a new job this year as your annual goal, and have decided that the first month is to start applying, then your weekly goal may be to revise your resume and write a template cover letter. Rather than wait for inspiration to strike or the right time (aka it won’t happen), write down a block of time in your calendar and call it “Resume Revision” time or “Cover letter” time. Be specific for what the time is going to be used for.

If you want to start exercising twice per week, put a 1-hour block on your calendar for Tuesday and Thursday at 6pm and label it (go for a run, yoga class, Orange Theory, etc.) You are WAY more likely to do something if it’s written in your calendar. You can do the same with any habit you want to form, from meditating to expanding your social connections.

For a longer project-type goal (starting a business, writing a book, etc), think about a specific weekly goal that would be a logical step for you. This could be something like forming an LLC, designing a website, writing a book outline, etc. Then put those things on your calendar in a specific time block.

If you do this week after week, you will be amazed at how all the little steps you take add up into bigger goals! All it takes is small but consistent progress and your calendar is the best way you can hold yourself accountable to doing it. Take a few minutes and decide what your weekly goals will be (I recommend no more than 2 major goals per week), and then … get it on your calendar! Have a great week and in the last post next week (Part 4 of 4), I will go over the best practice for getting your daily to-do list done!

Make sure to like the Prosperity Facebook page if you’re not already following! Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!  

Part 2: Goal Setting: Breaking Down Big Goals into Monthly Ones

The last post discussed how to set overall goals for the whole year. Part of why people have trouble reaching their goals is that a year can seem like a long time so it’s easy to get overwhelmed with a larger goal and not know where to start. Unfortunately, sometimes when people don’t know where to begin, they either don’t start at all … or they start but give up before reaching the goal.

If you have a larger goal for the end of 2020, you want to reverse engineer that goal and break it down month by month. This way, you start with small, manageable steps that build on each other and it becomes way easier to reach your goal. I’ll give you a few examples and I’ll also provide a free monthly planning template you can try out.

Health Goal Example:

If you have a year-end goal of being healthier, think of a step you could implement first. Not ten steps–like exercising more, drinking more water, eliminating sugar, cutting carbs, increasing vegetables, meditating, etc. Pick one thing first and do that. Also, try not to be extreme in that one step. For instance, if you are currently exercising ZERO times per week and you put that your goal is to exercise every day for two hours … well, you are most likely going to fail in that goal. You want to set yourself up for success which will cause increased motivation and happiness. So, for my clients who exercise zero or once a week, we set the goal for the first month to increase exercise 2X per week. That’s it. Then, if they exercise more days some week, it feels amazing to them, like they’ve gone above and beyond. Keep it simple.

Financial Goal Example:

If you have a goal of saving for a specific vacation, kitchen appliance, etc, then research what you need to save per month given your desired timeline and make that a monthly savings goal–and put that money into a separate account for that specific thing if possible. Some online banks let you name your savings accounts whatever you want which is a fabulous idea as it creates excitement and motivation. So you can name an account “European escapades” or “kitchen remodel” which makes it even more fun to put money into it.

You would apply these same concepts to career goals, relationship goals, spirituality goals, etc. Start with the first step the first month and then assess how it goes before deciding what to implement the following month. Next week, we will go into specific weekly goal planning in a way that sets you up for success. In the meantime, you can grab this Monthly Planning Sheet to use if you want somewhere to list your goals for this month.

Make sure to check out plenty of other tips on the blog such as 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Ideal Career.  Already know you’re ready to invest in making your ideal future a reality? Schedule a free coaching consultation today with Dr. Kristi to see if coaching is a good fit for you!